We see the chaos…God sees it all.

By: Tatum-Lee

Things began to change for me, when I stopped treating the day I got saved as the ONLY good thing God has done for me, or my only real encounter with Him. When I look back at my 23 years of life, I realise that every day, I have met with Him. Whether I acknowledged him or not, redemption has been a reality for me 365 days a year and counting.

No, I didn’t get the new job or dream man ‘kind of redemption’, but I have experienced a few thousand things money can’t buy, and right now you probably thinking ‘What on earth is this girl on about?’. Let me just say:

I know what it’s like…

…to fall to pieces and find yourself in a whirlwind of ‘why me’ all too often. Depression does that to you, and anxiety and fear. Especially, when the wounds are still fresh and another one just opens. Just when you return from war, you’re commissioned to the battlefield once again. Hearing that ‘your redeemer lives’ seems like a distant reality only the elite get to experience.

Today, I assure you that, that is not the truth…

It’s easy to doctor the wounds on the outside, but when it’s the inside that bleeds, we need someone with a little more expertise than what we naturally see. We tend to forget at times, that we are not beyond failure or vulnerability. It happens, to some more than others, nevertheless it’s a fact of life that we’re inclined to FAIL.

But God, can’t…It is not in His nature to fail. He is inherently good and without fault or defect and His word supports this.

“He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished”

1 Chronicles 28:20

If you don’t believe that God’s redeeming hand is at work in your life, because you cannot see it tangibly, let me share how He has been working in mine.

When I was battling with depression a few months ago, I could barely lift myself out of bed, but I managed to get to work every day, without fail. God kept me, even if it was just till I made it through my front door sobbing, I never had trouble doing my job.

In May this year, I got my heart broken into pieces, by someone I loved and cherished. I thought I would never be able to forgive, but God mended up my wounds and allowed me to be a channel of His love, to the very same person, even without an apology. Look at Grace.

I struggle throughout my short life with who I was. Some days I allowed people to happily define me, on others, I’d lay in bed, staring at the walls while hoping they’d close in. Then, suddenly, people of faith would send me spontaneous encouragement, full of hope and on those nights my faith was kept alive. He came looking for me, even when I didn’t want to be found.

The days I compromised and refused to submit to Him. He’d send His word through a vessel to convict me and steer me right back into purpose. He loved me regardless.

On the days, when past anxiety crept up through memory. He helped me push through in prayer and when I didn’t have words. I released my tears and even through that, I felt His presence all around me.

When friendships failed, old scripture I memorised would spring up inside of me, ‘there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother’, and makes me new again. He never left my side.

These are only a few stories I can tell you…where His redeeming love pursued me and lifted me up. I have since realised that God is always a part of us. There is nothing that drives Him to give up on us, like we are in the habit of doing. If you need Him, call on Him.

He is the mercy that is new for you every morning.

He is the love that tramples over rejection.

He is the strength, that replaces our weakness.

He is our Redemption.

*

FB_IMG_1444919537461Tatum-Lee is a Born Again Christian, qualified Writer and Content producer who resides in Cape Town, lives on Facebook  and reads books for breakfast. She makes a conscious effort to remain on top of the news and is equipped to produce all kinds of content, works exceptionally well with briefs and makes people look Kwaai on Facebook.  She loves getting paid for her work, but really hates asking for money, so if ever you are in need of content, no rhetorical questions are allowed. Also, never use the word also.

 

 

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