Single, independant and Born-Again

For a single, independent born-again Christian woman, living in an ‘I don’t need a man to make it happen’ society, is proving to be quite a daunting task. Graduating from varsity came with a new sense of empowerment, getting my own car added to that, and finding a really good job, put the cherry on top of the cake.

I imagine that this is exactly what my parents envisioned when they instructed me to be independent, but when you really believe in God-ordained love, carrying this tool box of self-empowerment is toxic to what you decide to do next.  I never found my independence, or the accumulating thereof, problematic. What was really disturbing to me was that it had the potential of becoming so self-consuming and damaging to who I truly am: A child of God.

And as a child of God. I am never truly independent. I need Him, I desperately need Him. He needs to help me guard my heart against the pride of my successes, to keep me from becoming arrogant. I need Him to grant me the strength for me to go to work every day to accumulate wealth. I need Him to guide my decisions, because when I place my choices in my hands, my life is in such a vulnerable place. I need Him because, although I am single now. I won’t always be. So I need Him to help me be someone’s wife. The training starts now.

I can be single and powerfully so! It’s a fantastic freedom and it’s an ideal opportunity to do your best for God, but this should never mean that I get to disregard God’s gift of men around me. As women we have been strategically placed on the earth and so have men. What will you have left after you have done all you can to empower yourself? Who will you pay homage to for your success? Who will you share it with?

God can do so much more with our lives, hearts, and futures when we leave it in His hands. You may have planned to live a life of independence, where it’s really just you, but when last have you stopped and asked Him what He prefers for you? I want to be a strong independent woman, yet soft enough to submit to God’s voice, gentle enough to let Him take the lead and humble enough to appreciate and acknowledge the importance of those around me, even when I don’t have an immediate need that requires the presence.

I am a child of God.



Tatum-Lee is a Born Again Christian, a writer, blogger, English tutor, and digital content producer. She recently completed her BA Communications degree at the University of the Western Cape, where she completed her first research proposal, focused on Multilingual diversity in the Colored community.






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