The friend zone survival kit

By: Tatum-Lee Louw

First published by Live Magazine SA

15 May 2015

Forgive yourself

After the initial shock wears off, it’s vital you forgive yourself for making an absolute fool of yourself. Yes, you read the signals wrong, perhaps you were just vulnerable or Cupid decided to play an April Fools joke on you. But, honey, it happened. It’s out there. There’s no point in pretending it didn’t.

Learn to chill

Once you have forgiven yourself, your rage will most likely redirect to the person who friend-zoned you, and reasonably so. However, don’t be the girl who posts the “All guys are the same” status. He’ll probably find this amusing, and warn everyone else to stay away from you, especially if you guys are in the same friendship circle.

Maintain a safe following distance

He needs to know that you are okay, even though you are secretly planning his memorial service. Speak when spoken to, and stop liking all his posts on Facebook or Instagram. It’s freaky. You can be in his presence without being in his face.

You’re not a politician, don’t campaign for pity

I get that you are now the most radical friend-zone activist of your time, but quit telling everyone in your circle what a bad person he is. You look really dumb trying to explain to everyone else why you fell in love with the wrong person. He’s going to find out, and when he does, the only friends you’ll have left are the ones who add you on Facebook. Calm down.

Slay in your lane

You can’t go from geek to pageant queen-wannabe just to create who you think he wants. He’ll notice, but won’t really care, and you’ll end up looking like you’re going through an identity crisis. Transitioning happens to be really expensive and quite frankly, no girl should be wasting money trying to get a man’s attention that way. You will flourish as you are and he’ll just be a bad memory of a silly mistake you made in the past.

Holding image by Onele Liwani

Article by Tatum-Lee

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