Bordering on the rejection of being unfriended? Me too

There are many reasons why this is relevant and below I will explain why. I have, on many occasions,been  the perpetrator of these crimes, on a daily actually! This blog post was inspired by a whole lot of guilt, denial and with the hopes that many of you won’t be as annoying as I am  :).

Its your 5th post for the day…STOP

Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! You cannot possibly clutter peoples news feed like this.Although your every move is breaking news to you , its not to your friends.In fact , most of them are so close to unfriending you. Right now , should be the perfect time to put this to an end. If you reading this thinking , you don’t do this. You probably do! Useful tip: don’t post what you reading, or listening to. That should narrow it down. Oh , we also don’t need to know what you thinking about. Yuck!

Poke wars

You poke me , then I poke you. Then what? Is there a certain signal this sends? Are you hitting on me? Where are you poking me? This is so weird. In fact Mark Zuckenberg totally screwed up with this one. We are confused. Don’t poke me , it’s not fun and you look really dumb. ‘The poke poem’.

But you next to me

I’m sorry , but did you not see me next to you? Please don’t write on my wall and you next to me, opposite me or in the same vicinity as me. It’s a bit needy. Now , come on over let me give you a hug.

It’s not your post! OMW

Do not throw shade on somebody else birthday , congratulatory or celebratory post. If you really want to acknowledge the person involved. Go onto their wall and do it right. You cannot comment on somebody else post, then have the audacity to  have an even better wish than them. It’s really so rude , I want to report you but Facebook does not have the ‘shady’ person option. Jy’s ombeskof.

You have exceeded your word count

When I see the ‘show more’ option. I stopped reading. Are you really telling me there is no simple way to say what you are saying! We talk about how annoying you are all the time. There is a special place for you , in parliament, writing the presidents SONA speech. But here , darling …nobody reads it(Note to self). Cries*.

If you added me as a friend

Please don’t inbox me like this:

“Hi my name is”…I can see your name. I know your name. Irrelevant. Tell me something interesting, like how gorgeous you think I am. Thus your invite.  Thank You 🙂

Thanks for accepting

Stop! This sounds like you just opened your account yesterday and you ‘skarreling’ for friends. Be chilled. I see you…no need to bombard me with appreciation. Its weird and super needy.

Man crush Monday 

You have a new crush every week . Are you thirsty? We can’t keep up with you anymore. In fact , I hope I don’t run into you at the mall , with ‘bae’ of the week, to afraid I call him on the wrong name! Gentlemen this goes for you too. Its very annoying and really awkward.

You just gonna like it

Oh! So I take the time to write on your wall.But you just liked it? Must be nice! That was the last wall post you’ll get. To rub further salt into my wounds, when one of your friends, comment other than you! Well at least SOMEBODY appreciated my efforts. You rude man!

Then there’s you

“Life’s most urgent question is : What are you doing for others”

Only problem with this is …Its not yours! You are undermining peoples intelligence, relying on ignorance and a thief. You can’t claim you said it. We see you , also don’t copy words of memes and make them your own , or off image quotes. This is Facebook! If you like something share it, reference it , don’t steal it. Gosh. But in the event that this is actually , don’t do it again man. We know the truth.

The time traveler

Don’t check in Camps Bay and I see you in Hanover Park. I feel embarrassed for you. Firstly , why are you lying? and if you are lying , stay in the house. Nobody will see you, Dan kan jy ma al aan Camps Bay!

There is another fallacy under the sun…

Did you know that Facebook, through the help of your android and a notification that you have turned on (location setting) , can pick up exactly where you are and adds this to your posts? In the event that you do lie , its gonna show.Yip! This is a common mistake , that’s been exposed on a regular. But we don’t tell you because its just too awkward!

Too cool to reply ne?

Inboxed you about a week ago. Meanwhile you uploading pics all day , everyday and my message is just decorating your inbox. I see you! Sies

Any things I missed , that have been annoying you? Like , share comment.

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Bordering on the rejection of being unfriended? Me too

  1. Remarkable written piece … Had me laughing the entire article, especially the; “You have a new crush every week. Are you thirsty?” What I love about your writing is how real you are, you’re as real as it gets in all your master pieces. What I think is because it connects with us especially in reality “Not that you asked me LOL” but I Love your writing, it’s on point. I liked the interactions you have with the readers and at the same time the article is relatable, while reading the article you had me asking myself the questions and I was like “Is this me?”… This is most definitely a much appreciated article, Thank you …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love the “realness” of your posts. I travel by train daily and know exactly what you mean in “bus etiquette” …..lol. Most people feel they entitled to take over the entire three seater. Don’t get me started on the broken/torn seats in our Cape Flats trains. The lengthy stories relating every detail of the past weekend (names included). What if a relative /friend/neighbour or heaven forbid, a parent was listening. There is soo much to talk about. We are a people NOT easily upset: Take sitting in a train for 20-45minutes then having to jump off the train because the train broke down before a station….we make jokes and laugh while attempting to wiggle our bodies onto the tracks below. We are an amazing people. We are unique. We laugh and joke about lifes’ ups and downs. (sorry I’ve gone off track here, but needed to share this) hope you don’t mind.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s